All I Really Need To Know... I Learned In Kindergarten.

I've had five years to prepare myself for Chase going to Kindergarten. It doesn't mean that I'm ready to accept it just yet. 
Earlier today I got an email from the elementary school letting me know that Kindergarten Round Up is March 10. I felt my heart drop...
I say that I've had five years to prepare myself but the truth is up until this moment I've been in denial. I don't want to let him go. He is my last baby boy and I don't want to lose that. I know that it all changes once school starts. It did with the other three, why would it be in different with him? He is a mommas boy to the bone. I still get goodnight kisses and I can't ever leave the house without getting a hug and kiss from him. It breaks my heart to think about that going away and never happening again. 
I wish time didn't go by so fast. 
So, I guess I'll take him to school in 10 days with all the paperwork in hand and sign my baby boy away. At least I get to hang on a little longer... 183 more days. 

All I Needed Was The Music and The Mirror.

I love to dance! Sadly the only form of dancing I do now is while in front of the Wii or Xbox. 
When I was a kid dancing was my passion. My friends and I would spend just about every weekend at clubs participating in dance competitions and learning new moves. 
As much as I enjoy dancing I don't remember the last time I actually danced in public and I have NEVER danced with Casey in the 8 years we have been together. I would love to dance the night away with him one day. If I haven't forgotten how to. 


If you ask my kids they will tell you I'm too old to dance. Of course I believe that is true if they are comparing me to booty shaking teens! I can't get "low" or "dougie" but I still have some rhythm left in these old bones! 

I try and talk the boys into playing Dance Central with me and having dance offs every chance I get, but they are too cool for that! The couple of times I did talk them into it I kicked major butt! Oh... and guess what I can do that they can't!! I can do the "Soulja Boy"! What? What? Haha!
Maybe one day when I'm too old to hip hop and sexy dance in the living room, I'll take up ballroom dancing instead. Until then... this mama is gonna keep on dancing and maybe, just maybe I'll have a pole installed ;) !! 

At The Beach, Life Is Different.

I love the ocean. I could spend every moment sitting on the beach looking out into forever. It's so calming and peaceful. 


I grew up only knowing the Texas coast. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized not all beaches are created equal. 
My favorite place as a kid was Galveston. I got to go back last year and was devastated to see how much damage was caused by the numerous hurricanes over the years. Such fond memories of vacations and being stung by jelly fish there (not so fond memory)!

Last year the kids and I drove the California coastline stopping in a small city to walk the beach. I have never seen anything so breathtaking before. It was simply amazing. Nothing like the Texas beaches I have visited and I can't wait to go back again. 


A few years ago on a trip to Corpus Christi, Casey and I stumbled upon Port Aransas. We fell in love with how simple and beautiful it is. The beaches are so pristine. This year we are taking the kids there for Spring Break! We are renting a house big enough to hold all 9 of us and taking a dune buggy to drive around on the beach! There is talk of para sailing, jet skiing, deep sea fishing, and a dolphin watching cruise! In addition to all of this we get to take a Jetty over to St Jo., a stunning undisturbed beach full of amazing seashells for the kids to collect. We can't wait! Should be a pretty fantastic Spring Break! 

In The Morning, Everything Is New.

Do you ever wake up in the morning, walk outside, and get this incredible feeling of nostalgia? It happened to me Sunday morning. I went to let the dogs outside and feed them. I felt like the wind could sweep me off my feet. I sat there for a few minutes listening to the sounds and feeling the wind blow through my hair. It was such a beautiful morning. 
It all seemed so familiar to me... a sense of euphoria.  

The cool air reminded me of spring days at my grandparents house when I was a kid. I remember hunting Easter eggs, spinning around on the merry go round, and playing in the cellar. Something I miss dearly and wish my kids were able to experience.

The smells and sounds reminded me of being out at my dads house chasing chickens, climbing on the jungle gym, petting horses, feeding deer, and building things. I wanted to jump in the truck and drive out there so I could sit on the back porch with my step-mom and dad and soak in all the memories. 


I don't see nostalgia as "homecoming pain" but rather a wistful remembrance of my childhood. I hope over the years that Casey and I can create such imperishable memories for our children so that one day, when they are adults, they can be reminded of such happiness just by the feel of the air, a simple smell, or a distinctive sound. 

Everybody Knows How to Raise Children, Except the People Who Have Them.

This week has been more of a headache than I would like to admit. Let me start out at the top and by top I mean with the oldest kid.

I have access to all of the kids grades online and keep track of them mainly to make sure they are turning their work in. This week I pull his up and he has numerous missing assignments in 3 classes and is failing all of them. So... I get on his ass. I write down each assignment for each class and explain to him that he has to get them turned in before today, the end of the 6 weeks. I make him attend tutorials and complete the work he has in his folder at home vs allowing him to play games. Did it work? I haven't a clue yet. We will see come Monday. If it didn't... guess who won't have a laptop or Xbox in his room? Oh, and to top it all off you know what he had the nerves to say to me?? "It isn't that big a deal mom, I only need a 70 to pass." NOT the kind of thing you say to your mom. He's going to be in shock when he finds out he won't get the laptop or Xbox back unless he has above 80 in all subjects! 


Moving on to the next kid. He has struggled from the moment he started school at 4 years old. The subject he struggles the most with is math. From 2nd grade to 5th grade he has yet to pass a TAKS or Benchmark test. He has attended summer school and tutoring multiple times over the years and nothing seems to help. Before Christmas break his teachers decided it would be best to have him tested for learning disabilities. Well, the results came back two weeks ago and he tested to be above average on everything. He doesn't have a learning disability and doesn't qualify for assistance. Fine. So now we wait until March to see if he can pass the TAKS on his own. If he doesn't he can retest in May and if he fails again he can attend summer school, again. If he fails the last time he will not be promoted to middle school.... OVER MY DEAD BODY! 
See, in 2nd grade I begged and pleaded with school officials to hold him in back for another year. They told me that he was making great progress and they didn't think it was necessary. So here we are 3 years later and the talk of retaining him is coming into play. I couldn't imagine what something like that would do to him. He has been with these same kids since kindergarten and just when he's looking forward to going to middle school with all of them it's yanked away! I can't allow it to happen. Of course I'm holding out hope that he does so well on the test in March that none of this will even matter. BUT... I'm prepared to fight if it comes down to it. 


and now... the last one.
He got in trouble this week at school for putting his hands on another kids neck. Why did he do something like that? Because the kid wouldn't stop acting like a turkey! SIGH 

It Takes Courage To Grow Up and Become Who You Really Are.

I've often thought about what I will do with myself when all of the kids start school. I figure I'll end up working part-time at a daycare or some place similar so that I can be here when the kids are out of school and during the summer. I still have three years to figure it all out but with so many changes coming this year I'm starting to question what I really want to do with my life. 


Come August Chase and most of the kids I currently watch during the day will start preschool or kindergarten. I will be left with just Joelie here at home with me and maybe one or two other (part-time) toddlers. It will be the first time in 7 years that I won't have a house full of kids and I'm not sure what I want to do. I've thought about placing a new ad and seeing if I could fill the spots with a couple of full time kids but the truth is... I'm ready to move on.

I've struggled with feeling successful over the years. Sure I run my own company and it's rewarding watching kids learn and grow but there has always been something missing. There are no promotions or bonuses. There isn't anyone providing feedback on a regular basis telling me job well done and come income tax time... well... it all seems like a big joke. Plus throw in the emotional attachment to kids that leave and not being able to do things with my own kids and it's just heartbreaking. 


So... now what? It's time to start making decisions and doing something that I really want to do. I'm ready to build a career and make something of myself that I can be proud of. The question is... do I have the courage to make it happen? 

To Bitch or Not To Bitch, That is the Question.

I'm feeling a bitchy. 

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." 

No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.

You remember those online friends I mentioned before? Well, yesterday I noticed a post by one of them on Facebook that got me thinking.
She isn't afraid to speak her mind and she has the support (clique) to back her up so very few people argue with her and a lot of people agree with her. I personally think she is narrow minded and a bit selfish.


Her post was about a colleague of hers that was complaining about her husband being away for a week or so on business and how it was so hard on her to deal with everything, including the kids. The reason it wasn't/isn't okay for this colleague to vent is because she isn't a military wife. See, if you are just a wife and a mother who's husband travels frequently or infrequently you are not allowed to complain about it. Your husband isn't gone for months or years at a time. He isn't risking his life for our country. You aren't a single parent for months or years at a time. You just don't understand it. It isn't the same thing. You have no right to bitch! Or do you? 

Sure I realize there is a difference in military travel vs business travel. I do get that it normally doesn't last as long for a business man as it does for a military man. But I'm pretty sure going into the relationship/marriage that these wives knew in advance what they were getting themselves into. If they didn't know in advance I would think such a life changing decision would have been something that was discussed and decided on together, as husband and wife and most likely before children were even a factor. They knew exactly what they were getting into, and they are accustomed to that lifestyle.


I'm "just a wife" and I'm accustomed to my lifestyle too. I'm used to having my husband come home at 5pm and offer to help with our kids, or help get dinner made, or help get kids bathed and homework done. That's the life that I agreed to and accepted 8 years and 5 kids ago. Business travel wasn't ever something we had to discuss before marriage or kids, it didn't come until much later and when it did... we didn't have much of a choice if we wanted to keep our income, home, cars, and lifestyle. It was just something we had to accept and deal with. 


So, I may not have a clue what it's like to be a military wife but I'm guessing a military wife doesn't have a clue what it's like being just a wife either. 
I know, I know... their husbands are risking their lives for our country. You know what, my husband risks his life everyday for his family (which happens to mean a whole lot more to me). Every single time he gets into a car or boards a plane he is putting his life in danger. Maybe it isn't as big of a deal because he isn't wielding a gun and defending our country but to us, his wife and kids... it's a pretty big fucking deal! 
I don't know who died and made her god... but just because she is a military wife, it doesn't make her hardships more important than anyone else.

DANGER! Two Year Old Ahead...

Yesterday our baby girl turned two. I realize that she has been a toddler for a year now but there is something about second birthdays that is so hard. 

First birthdays come and go with anticipation of what is to come. Our little ones go from being eating, sleeping, crawling, non verbal babies to walking, single word talking, toy playing, tantrum throwing toddlers. Then they turn two and everything changes again but this time the changes are more substantial. They become blabbering, independent, possessive, characteristic individuals. They become their own little people. 

Maybe it's harder for me to think about because I know I will never do this again. She is our last baby. Or maybe it's harder because she's a girl. I don't know.

At least we will get a break from this emotional roller coaster for the next three years. That will give us plenty of time to prepare for the first day of elementary school!

I spent the day catering to my birthday girl. She got dressed up in her Hello Kitty birthday outfit and we went to the mall. Our first stop was the Sanrio store where we bought a "way too expensive" Hello Kitty stroller. Next up we stopped to ride a merry go round. After we got done with that it was off to Build a Bear to make a Hello Kitty! She had a blast!! and so did her big brother Sequel! He was a great help! We ended her birthday celebration with lunch and cake! The only thing that was missing today was her daddy. :( 

The Great Fish Eat The Small.

I have never been a fan of fish, or seafood. I remember eating things like shark as a kid and hating it. Heck, I have never liked fish sticks either... the smell alone sends me over the edge. Same goes for shrimp. EWW!
I didn't realize until I was an adult that other types of seafood existed and I was excited to try them despite my hatred for such an awful smelling food. 
Our first year in Austin Casey and I attended a company Christmas party where they served crab cakes. Oh my gosh!! I think it was the best thing I have ever tried, so yummy! A couple of years later we traveled to the Corpus Christi with some friends to celebrate Casey's 30th birthday. One of my good friends, Andina, insisted we have seafood while there. Of course Casey isn't a fan either so we picked a place that had traditional American food in addition to seafood. Andina ordered this platter with shrimp and crab legs. I agreed to try them both. I know that over the years our taste buds can change so I thought, why not! First... shrimp is still NASTY! Second... crab legs are the bomb! WOW! The last time I had seafood I went with my friend Naomi. I had not seen her in over 10 years and drove to Houston to spend the day with her. I talked her into going to Galveston for the day and she picked our lunch spot. I let her order since I had no idea what I was doing. This time I had lobster and again, I loved it!  


Because Casey and I aren't fans of fish our kids haven't really had the chance to try any other than fish sticks and shrimp (which only Venus likes). 
Sequel is always talking about fishing and eating what he catches so tonight I talked him into trying some fish I bought. I cooked some Tilapia and as soon as he smelled it cooking he wasn't sure about eating it. He was a good sport and tried it when I was done but ended up covering it in BBQ sauce! :) Joelie even took a bite. She chewed it for a good minute before gagging and spitting it out! Venus, Pacey, and Chase... they wouldn't even taste it. I guess the verdict is... I'm the only one in our family that will eat seafood and even then, it has to be a Crustacean (minus shrimp) AND... it has to be with a friend that I don't see very often OR at a fancy dinner party! Can I really even say I like seafood? 

Snowflakes are kisses from heaven!

I feel like a little kid! I'm waiting for the snow to come! It doesn't happen very often around here and it's hard not to get excited about it. Pacey wants to make snow angels and Chase wants to play in it. I'm sure Venus and Sequel will want to build snowmen and Joelie will surely want to eat it! I hope hope hope that we wake up to a white lawn tomorrow, even if only two inches!