Life Happens!

Sometimes I think that one day I'll get a call saying there was a mix up at the hospital and Joelie isn't really our baby. I know it's silly. I just can't get over how much of a dream come true she really is. I adore everything about her.
She has been falling asleep and/or sleeping with me at night since Casey left on his last trip to Zurich. It's been a few weeks now and although I'd love for her to go to sleep in her own room to begin with, I can't deny that I LOVE the cuddles. She will sleep as close to me as she can with her little knees tucked to her belly and her arm around my neck. Most nights she repeats, "I love you so much mommy" or "You are so cute, Mommy" until she drifts off to sleep. It's the most amazing feeling in the world being so close to her. She happens to be a morning person like her mama, thank goodness! When she gets up she hugs and kisses me while saying, "Good morning mommy!" and she will pet my face and say, "Aw, mommy!". I love this girl. She is so sweet.
I'm amazed by how much she has grown and learned over the months. She is one smart little girl with a sassy personality and a mommy instinct! I'm looking forward to hanging out with her more while the boys are in school.

Tomorrow is Kinder Kamp for Chase. I can't say that I'm thrilled. All I keep thinking is it's only 12 more days until school officially starts and I'm going to walk him to the "kiss goodbye zone" and send him off to spend his days with complete strangers. It sucks. There is no denying he is my baby boy. He is a mama's boy to the bone and has always been. He didn't grow out of it like Pacey did and I have held on to him as tight as I could. I know some of you reading this will think it's just school, it's not a big deal... but it is a big deal to me. I've done this three times already and I can tell you from experience that they leave going into kindergarten as your baby and come out graduating kindergarten as an independent big kid. 


Pacey is ready to go back to school. He's excited to go into second grade and can't wait to find out who his teacher is and see what friends are in his class. I just hope that he does better this year than he did last and can control his emotions a little more and stay out of trouble! He's such a smart boy so I'll know he will do well.
He was curled up on Casey's chair this morning sleeping and I sat with him stroking his hair. I thought about how Casey and I dreamed about having him, our first baby together, and how happy he made us. I thought about his sweet little baby face and how he looked for the first week of his life in the NICU. He was perfect. So much love and joy went into the first few years of his life as we watched him grow. He was a pretty awesome toddler that loved watching Dora, speaking in Spanish, and playing with trains. He has grown into such a cool little boy with amazing hazel eyes and gorgeous long hair. His smile and laughter are contagious and bring me so much joy.

Where do I even start with Sequel? 16 more days until his 11th birthday and I've been hearing about it for months! He's so excited to start middle school and scared about being too hard at the same time. I'm excited for him. I think he is going to do great and I know he will enjoy it. He's such an outgoing and active kid that really gets along well with kids of all ages. He's pretty awesome with his siblings and is such a big help to me. I really couldn't be more proud of him.His new thing is becoming a motocross racer. SIGH... why can't he like non-dangerous sports?

I haven't seen Venus too much his summer :) He locks himself in his room and plays on his laptop for hours only coming out to eat and drink or to go to the occasional movie. He's a pretty funny kid, I think he'd make a good comedian! It's so funny how tech savvy he is. He can keep up in conversations with Casey where I haven't a clue what either of them are talking about!
I think he's pretty excited about his last year in Jr High. He's ready to go to high school, get a car, and get a job! Scary!
I love this kid even if he won't let me hug and kiss on him anymore. I do my best to sneak some loving in when I can :) 

Childhood Is A Journey, Not A Race.

I can't believe how fast this summer is flying by! Only 43 more days until school starts back up again. I've already started school clothes shopping but have barely put a dent in it. Buying clothes for 4 kids with varying styles isn't the easiest thing in the world. let me tell you. Thankfully Pacey and Chase are not as complicated to buy for as Venus and Sequel are, at least not yet.
Venus is into basketball shorts and tees, which wouldn't be too bad if he didn't request only Nike. :) Oh... it would also help if he didn't wear adult sizes. I'm hoping I find some good deals on this stuff as it gets closer to school starting. So far, I've had no such luck.
Sequel likes moto cross and skater gear. Oh boy. His favorite store is Zumiez ( a store I can't even pronounce most of the time ). Luckily he can still wear kid sizes but I don't see that lasting too much longer. At least Zumiez runs some pretty good deals before school.

It would probably help if I weren't so cheap when it comes to clothes. I can't stand spending a lot of money on something that will get worn out and outgrown in a year. I have limits. I refuse to spend more than $9.99 on a shirt, $12.99 on shorts, and $19.99 on jeans. Haha, it's back to school bargain shopping at it's finest. I normally do a pretty good job with just a few splurges here and there. Can't wait to see how well I can do this year! 

Snuggles

Last night Joelie didn't go to sleep very early. She had a late nap so her schedule was thrown off a bit. I ended up letting her come to bed with us for a little while. She got right in the middle of us and talked and talked and talked. Despite being exhausted I loved listening to her. What's really cute is she repeats whatever Casey tells her to say. It cracks me up because he has her say some of the craziest things! Plus toddler language is just adorable!
I ended up taking her back to bed about 2am. It's very hard sleeping with a toddler kicking you every few minutes.
This morning I woke up at 5:30 to Chase asking me to change his TV to Nick Jr. On the way in there he asked me if it was early morning or late at night! :) About 30 minutes later he was back in our room wanting to get in bed with us. So I let him.
He's my snuggle bug. He was in our room every single night sleeping at the foot of our bed well after Joelie was born. It took a lot to get him into his room and we are glad that he's in there... but I enjoyed every moment I had with him snuggling with me. He's my baby boy!
Of course I couldn't go back to sleep so I just looked at Chase while he was sleeping. I thought about how much he and Joelie look alike and how in a few months I'd lose my baby to kindergarten. I also noticed that he was snoring in unison with Casey!! They sounded exactly the same!

Its moments like this that make being a mom and wife well worth all the stress of maintaining a busy household. No matter how little sleep, no matter how exhausted or stressed out I get...  I cherish these moments more than anything. I'm very blessed to have such a wonderful husband and amazing kids! 

The Love of a Family is Life's Greatest Blessing

I often find myself questioning what family means...
To me it is my husband and our kids. It's making sure that our kids know that we will always be here to love and support them. It's watching them grow up and making decisions together to raise them to be the best adults they can be. It's spending quality time together and enjoying every moment of it. It's planning for our futures and preparing for the next steps in life. My family is everything to me. 


So I will never understand how a father can pay child support for his children but never make an effort to see them or call them. Or how a father can claim children as his flesh and blood but never send a birthday card or a Christmas gift or be there for sporting events and graduations.

I'll also never understand how a mother can lose custody of her children and not fight with every ounce of her being to get them back and if she can't, decide not to be a part of their lives anyway missing out on all the important milestones in their lives all while blaming someone else for her actions. 

Cabins and Lakes

We took a trip this weekend to Lake Murray in Oklahoma. The ride up wasn't as bad as I expected. The kids were really good. When we turned onto the street with the cabins I was a little freaked out, it looked scary. I didn't feel any better when I went to grab the keys and check in. When I opened the door I was greeted by the smell of something old and wooden. It reminded me of the way my grandmas moth ball filled closet smelled. The surrounding lake area was beautiful.
I was pleasantly surprised when we opened the door to our cabin. It was cute, updated with a flat steen tv, and it was clean!
After we got all of our stuff unloaded we went to the beach area and rented a boat. Casey took turns taking the kids for rides while the others stayed behind and played in the water. There was a cute little water park set up with trampolines and slides but I couldn't bring myself to pay $10 per hour, per kid seemed like a waste. When we got done we headed back into town for dinner and ice cream at Braums. Yum!
We spent the rest of the afternoon out in the lake enjoying a break from the heat! What I loved about this lake is that they net off the swimming area so there were no fish, which I'm afraid of. Something else I really liked was how clear the water was. You could see all the way to the bottom.
I enjoyed being able to sit outside in the dark with Casey and Joelie listening to the bugs. So peaceful!
Later that night when we were all snuggled in bed we were scared shitless when the smoke detector went off! Apparently the air conditioner overheated. It made for a hot night with just one wall unit trying to keep the whole cabin cool but it sure beat sleeping outside in a tent!
This morning when we got up to get ready to leave we were reminded that we were in the middle of nowhere by all the bugs that camped out with us. They were everywhere!!
Overall we had a good time. I'm sure we will do it again one day.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.

Last week Casey and I got to escape to northern California for an adult weekend. We had such an amazing time. It was so nice to be able to go and do whatever we wanted without having to worry about kids or getting the sitter home at a decent hour. We had time to go and see two newly released movies in an actually movie theater! That never happens at home! We even planned a Memorial Day BBQ with some of my mommy friends and their families. (I wish that Joelie could have been there for it but we still had a wonderful time.) We drove out to Alice's restaurant up in the mountains for breakfast and walked the paths at Muir Woods followed by a drive down the coast. It was just a perfect vacation!

You know... I'm a Texas girl to the bone. Born and raised. I've never lived anywhere else and I have never wanted to live anywhere else... until I went to northern California. I love it there. The mountains and ocean are stunning. Maybe one day we will make it happen? 

How Sweet It Is...

I recently started reading a book that utterly disgusts me. At the same time it has opened my eyes to things I have never thought about and makes me question everything I already know. 


One of the topics discussed is sugar. I personally don't use a lot of sugar but sugar-free or sugar substitutes instead. I even do the same for the kids. It makes sense right? Sugar is bad for you so sugar-free is better for you? 
After reading the book and hearing about all the horrific side effects of aspartame I decided to check labels on products in our home. Low and behold... it's in EVERYTHING! Our Crystal Light drinks, the sugar-free Kool-Aid, yogurt, gum, jam, salad dressing... the list goes on and on. 
Here I think I'm doing something healthier for my kids but this book claims I'm poisoning them and myself. Great. 
What the hell are you suppose to do? I'm reading the "side effects"; headache, cramps, memory loss, vision problems, cancer, depression, increased hunger... on and on and on. It all has to be true, it's written in this horrible book. 
So I come up with this bright idea to use Splenda in everything instead and go back to buying "real" juice vs the sugar-free stuff. But wait... Splenda is poison too? It was discovered while trying to make a new pesticide. That can't be good... right? So, I'm reading the "side effects", again; gastrointestinal problems, skin irritation, chest pains, mood swings, depression, itchy eyes... on and on and on. Now what? 


Just when I think my head is going to explode with an overload of information and confusion I decide to further investigate Carcinogenic foods, which is the part about sugar and artificial sweeteners that scares me the most, and find a top 10 list. 
1. Any charred food. ANY. 
2. Meat, especially overcooked. 
3. SUGAR
4. Salt and Spicy Foods. 
5. Sodas 
6. Trans Fats (think fries/chips) 
7. ARTIFICIAL SWEETNERS
8. Excessive Alcohol 
9. Foods cooked at high temperatures. 
10. Farm-raised fish. 
Yep. I'm a horrible HORRIBLE mother. 

Anywhere Is Walking Distance, If You've Got The Time

I have no desire to get up early to go to the gym or stay up later to get a good workout in. I'd rather just say my workout comes from cleaning house and chasing after kids all day. Of course I complain about never being able to lose or maintain weight and it becomes obvious "why" I'm unable to... because I'm lazy. 
Casey and I have tried every fad diet over the years except eating healthy and working out. Sadly none of those fad diets last long and when they are over we always end up right back where we started. 
It was Casey who decided he had enough and was ready to make a life style change. He started taking time during his work week to get exercise and has been watching what he eats. It didn't take long for me to jump on board. 
I started reading labels and watching what we eat or cook with. We limit ourselves to healthy snacks and we walk every single day. I can't claim some miracle and say that we are dropping pounds left and right but I can tell you that we feel great and we are loving the quality family time it's giving us too (most of the time). 


Every evening after dinner we throw our tennis shoes on, grab some waters, and head out on our family walk. Joelie always tags along. I mean... she has it easy, she gets to ride in the jogging stroller while enjoying the sites and playing on the iPhone or iPad. What a life!
Pacey and Chase go with us most of the time and they can almost always keep up. There are times that Joelie has to slide over and make room for them to ride along. Sequel is always along for the ride. He's such an active kid and loves the way it makes his muscles feel (so he tells me)! I think he's only missed one walk since we started.
During the weekend we find time for two walks... our normal evening walk and an earlier (around lunch time) walk. I don't always make both walks on the weekend but I try. We also throw in some basketball or play time at the local park to top things off. Most weekends we end with 5-7 miles total per day! 


I never thought I'd say that I really enjoy walking, but the truth is... I do! It makes me feel really good and I love spending the time with my family! 

Memory Is A Way Of Holding On To The Things You Love...

The Things You Are, The Things You Never Want To Lose. 

It sure is a busy life I lead. I was thinking last night that not only do I need to update my blog, I also need to write in my journal. I used to be really good about recording my thoughts in my journal every few weeks. I checked today and the last time I made an entry was July of 2010. That is major slacking on my part. 


I'm so afraid that I'll forget all the meaningful things that have happened to us over the years. I have such a horrible memory. I can hardly remember Venus and Sequel being babies. If it weren't for photos I'm pretty sure I wouldn't remember anything at all. 
So I try and make a habit of updating my journal with where we are now. I'm going to do that a little later but I thought I'd do it here too. 

Joelie is a mess! Casey is always teasing that if we had her first, we wouldn't have had more kids. :) I still can't get over how beautiful she is. I'm always looking at her and thinking about how she surpassed my expectations. 
The girl loves to sing and dance. She can sing just about any song she hears twice. One that we hear a lot is What's My Name (Rihanna) or any song by Big Time Rush (thanks to Chase). Her dancing normally takes place in dress shoes or while standing on something, like the ottoman. Too cute! 
She is so smart with a huge vocabulary. She amazes me everyday with how much she knows and she is so loving! She is all about hugs and kisses and is a good mommy to her baby dolls. 

Chase. My baby boy. I can't believe he starts school in a few months. I'm not ready. Chase is so much fun. He loves to go places and do things. The kid could live in a hotel and be happy forever. He is so funny, always being silly. I have some amazing videos of him that he records with my phone and we post on his Youtube Channel!
Chase is very loving. He always has to kiss me when I leave the house and before he goes to bed. He's so handsome with his dimples and the only lefty of the clan (minus Casey). I'm going to be a mess come August. One of my favorite things about him is how easily happy he is! 


Pacey is my smart, emotional boy with amazing hair! He is very handsome. He has the classic "middle child syndrome" which breaks my heart. I think we may have gone overboard with the babying when he was younger and now we are trying to correct our mistakes. It isn't easy.
Pacey has a big heart and loves hanging out with his brothers. He gets along really well with Chase. I think they will be good buddies forever! He reads like a pro and makes good grades at school. He loves playing his iPod and video games. His current favorite, Plants Vs Zombies! He has such a beautiful smile and a contagious laugh that I never get tired of hearing! 


Sequel is my all-American kid. He is good at everything he does. He struggles a little bit in school but is about to graduate from fifth grade in two weeks! He got a suit to wear and everything. I couldn't be more proud of him! Sequel is hotheaded (kinda like his mom) but he is so sweet and loving to his family, especially Joelie. He is such a great big brother!
Sequel has lots of friends and spends so much time out of the house. He's very active and quite creative! He got his braces off a few months ago. So handsome! 


Venus is a crazy preteen. He is so funny and is always joking but the kid can flip the switch and carry on some crazy in depth conversations. He is so freaking hardheaded and drives me nuts but I'm thinking it has a lot to do with age? I hope. He struggled this year in school but I think it had more to do with being lazy than anything else.
One of my favorite things about him... his smile. I don't get to see it often but when I do it melts my heart. He's a cute kid. Smart too. He spends every minute of his days locked in his room on Skype and playing online games. I wish he did more with us as a family but I'm glad that he's happy and having fun. 


I think that's it... until next time. 

Eggs to Dye For!

People used to get dyes from plants. You can, too. There are two ways of dyeing eggs. Boil them first, then cold-soak them in dyes; or boil them with the dye. 

*Boil eggs for 30 minutes or more with lots of oinionskins; they'll turn a pale orange to light red. 

* Boil eggs with spinach leaves for pale green. 

* Soak hard-boiled eggs in grape juice; they'll turn lavender.

* Boil eggs in tea for pale brown, in coffee for darker brown. 

* Boil eggs with beets or cranberries for lovely pinks and reds. 

* For a golden color, dissolve the spice turmeric in hot water and soak the eggs. 

* To create patterns on boiled eggs, draw on the shells with wax crayons or wrap them in rubber bands before dyeing. 

mud is squisy between my toes, flowers bloom beneath my nose

birds are singing, bells are ringing 

the easter bunny hides eggs on the farm

when I get close, mom yells, "you're warm!"

pollywogs squiggle in the creek (they'll be frogs within a week)

it must be spring

As Busy As I Claim To Be, I Still Have The Greatest Job In The World.

It's been a super busy month for me. There seems to be so much going on right now. 

This week the stomach bug has been keeping me occupied. Nothing like cleaning vomit. Yuck! Four down and three to go! I'm ready for it to be out of here! Poor Sequel is scared to death of getting it. He has locked himself in his room, won't come out to eat, or be around the other kids at all. I'm going to feel really bad for him when he ends up with it anyway. What are the chances? 

What I'm really looking forward to is Sunday with my husband! We are going to the Zac Brown concert! I can't wait! I haven't been to a concert in YEARS. I'm pretty sure Marilyn Manson was the last one. My how things have changed. :) 

Easter plans are in the works too. Silly but I think it's one of my favorite holidays with the kids. The food is great, decorating and hunting eggs is fun, and it's always nice spending time with family. I'm not sure what we are doing this year. Normally we spend Easter weekend at my dads but due to unforeseen circumstances that won't be possible this year. I'm sure no matter where we end up, we will have an amazing time! I can't wait! 

The other big plans in the works is my becoming a surrogate for a couple in Oklahoma. We are still in the very early stages of everything but I'm thrilled to be able to help them out and hope that everything runs smoothly. I'm flying up at the end of the month to meet them in person and to start the first steps. Of course I'll update everyone as things progress. 

and finally... the most exciting thing... going to California to spend the weekend with Casey just me and him! I can NOT wait! It's a much needed break for both of us and the kids are excited to spend the weekend with Grandma! 

<3

 

Mothers of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young

April 1 my oldest, Venus turned 13. No joke. It's not really a big deal but at the same time it is. He's entering his teen years. The countdown has begun. 5 more years.

I went into his room sobbing, gave him a hug and sat on his bed. He looked at me and asked why I was crying. I told him that I couldn't believe it had been 13 years already. Time is flying by so fast. I really expected him to keep playing his computer game and laugh at me but he didn't. He took his headphones off and turned around to talk to me. He told me he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. "I still have five years before I finish high school, mom." "I know son... but it's still hard to accept."
We talked a while longer. I shared some silly stories with him from when he was a baby and cried some more. He said the sweetest things and made me feel a lot better. He talked about getting a car and helping me out with the younger kids and how he would still be here through college because he would NEVER go out of the state. He's a good kid. 


So much will happen in his life in the next five years and I hope that I do a good job of helping him learn and helping him make smart decisions. And when that is all said and done... I hope that he is as proud to have me as a mom, as I am to have him as my son. 

IF IT TASTES GOOD, SPIT IT OUT!

When I first started my blog I planned on tracking my diet success and checking in here every Wednesday to let others know how I was doing. Well, that never happened. There hasn't been any success to share and I flat out stopped caring for the last month. Of course that means I've gained weight and feel like a blubbery fat mess.
After stepping on the scale this week I decided it was time to get back on track. I didn't gain a horrible amount but I gained enough to really tell the difference and I'm not happy about that at all.

Two days ago Casey and I both started the HCG aka 500 calorie diet. We ended Phase 1 (gorging) feeling like fat, disgusting, over stuffed pigs and ended up looking forward to today, Phase 2.
This phase consists of not eating much at all and eating things that taste horrible, IMO. We are allowed unlimited tea and coffee sweetened with Stevia, 2 servings of vegetables (but only the ones on the list), 2 servings of fruit (but only the ones on the list), 2 melba toast, and 2 servings of 100 grams of meat (but only the ones on the list).

So far today I've had;
 3 cups of coffee with Stevia... which really isn't bad tasting. I had a harder time with no creamer than I did with not being able to use my Splenda.
 2 bottles of water w/ lemon 
 100 grams of chicken 
 a handful of Asparagus (EWWW!) 
 and one Melba toast 
I'm saving my fruit for an afternoon snack!

I feel better today than I did the last two days and as of right now I'm excited to see some results! I really hope this works!
I may not update weekly like I planned to originally but I'll be here when there is success to report! 

Are you sure Applebee’s is the best place to meet hot women?

Last Friday Casey and I went to the movies to see Hall Pass. It was a pretty funny yet disturbing (at times) movie. I think we both enjoyed seeing it. BUT....
If you haven't been too see it yet, or plan to wait until it comes out on DVD, I would suggest watching it alone! When we left the movie theater Casey was mad at all women (including me) for a good 15 minutes. I'm pretty sure he tossed around a few choice words describing us women; whore!


Now, for those of you thinking about giving your husband a "hall pass"... please know that not all men are stupid, nor will all men fall for it. Consider yourself lucky if your husband is one that doesn't go for it.  
Lets be honest, a hall pass isn't for the husband to go out and rediscover his youth. We all know that despite the "game" they had as young men, most of them don't have it in them to keep up with the younger competition.  
No, a hall pass is an eye opener for the wife who feels unattractive and thinks the only things she is good at is being a wife and mom. Trust me it is much easier for a woman to rediscover her youth than it is for a man. After all, what guy (young or old) would say no to a MILF?
I'm not saying that the whole concept doesn't work for relationships. Maybe it does. I know I have no desire to find out either way. 

Big Girls Don't Cry

When did it become okay for men to cry and not okay for women to cry? When a woman cries she is often criticized for showing her vulnerability. When a man cries it shows he is sensitive and humble. What gives? Some scientist believe that crying is the bodies way of releasing excessive hormones, which would explain why women cry easier than most men. Right?

Growing up I only saw my dad cry a couple of times but witnessed my mother cry often. I remember thinking that people who cried so easily were weak so I fought the tears back every time I felt them coming on. I didn't want to be weak. As I grew older my views changed and I realized that no matter how hard I fought them back, it was inevitable and I stopped fighting so hard. 

Sometimes I hate that I'm such an emotional person but I haven't viewed it as being weak or vulnerable in a very long time. Instead I feel like it shows my strength and courage. Crying is a release. It relives my stress levels and in the end relaxes me. That doesn't mean that I'm going to cry all the time. I still fight the tears back from time to time especially when I'm angry. I guess I've just come to terms with being a cry baby and totally accept it. I have 5 kids... that comes with 5 times more hormones than before, what other excuse do I need? 

All I Really Need To Know... I Learned In Kindergarten.

I've had five years to prepare myself for Chase going to Kindergarten. It doesn't mean that I'm ready to accept it just yet. 
Earlier today I got an email from the elementary school letting me know that Kindergarten Round Up is March 10. I felt my heart drop...
I say that I've had five years to prepare myself but the truth is up until this moment I've been in denial. I don't want to let him go. He is my last baby boy and I don't want to lose that. I know that it all changes once school starts. It did with the other three, why would it be in different with him? He is a mommas boy to the bone. I still get goodnight kisses and I can't ever leave the house without getting a hug and kiss from him. It breaks my heart to think about that going away and never happening again. 
I wish time didn't go by so fast. 
So, I guess I'll take him to school in 10 days with all the paperwork in hand and sign my baby boy away. At least I get to hang on a little longer... 183 more days. 

All I Needed Was The Music and The Mirror.

I love to dance! Sadly the only form of dancing I do now is while in front of the Wii or Xbox. 
When I was a kid dancing was my passion. My friends and I would spend just about every weekend at clubs participating in dance competitions and learning new moves. 
As much as I enjoy dancing I don't remember the last time I actually danced in public and I have NEVER danced with Casey in the 8 years we have been together. I would love to dance the night away with him one day. If I haven't forgotten how to. 


If you ask my kids they will tell you I'm too old to dance. Of course I believe that is true if they are comparing me to booty shaking teens! I can't get "low" or "dougie" but I still have some rhythm left in these old bones! 

I try and talk the boys into playing Dance Central with me and having dance offs every chance I get, but they are too cool for that! The couple of times I did talk them into it I kicked major butt! Oh... and guess what I can do that they can't!! I can do the "Soulja Boy"! What? What? Haha!
Maybe one day when I'm too old to hip hop and sexy dance in the living room, I'll take up ballroom dancing instead. Until then... this mama is gonna keep on dancing and maybe, just maybe I'll have a pole installed ;) !! 

At The Beach, Life Is Different.

I love the ocean. I could spend every moment sitting on the beach looking out into forever. It's so calming and peaceful. 


I grew up only knowing the Texas coast. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized not all beaches are created equal. 
My favorite place as a kid was Galveston. I got to go back last year and was devastated to see how much damage was caused by the numerous hurricanes over the years. Such fond memories of vacations and being stung by jelly fish there (not so fond memory)!

Last year the kids and I drove the California coastline stopping in a small city to walk the beach. I have never seen anything so breathtaking before. It was simply amazing. Nothing like the Texas beaches I have visited and I can't wait to go back again. 


A few years ago on a trip to Corpus Christi, Casey and I stumbled upon Port Aransas. We fell in love with how simple and beautiful it is. The beaches are so pristine. This year we are taking the kids there for Spring Break! We are renting a house big enough to hold all 9 of us and taking a dune buggy to drive around on the beach! There is talk of para sailing, jet skiing, deep sea fishing, and a dolphin watching cruise! In addition to all of this we get to take a Jetty over to St Jo., a stunning undisturbed beach full of amazing seashells for the kids to collect. We can't wait! Should be a pretty fantastic Spring Break! 

In The Morning, Everything Is New.

Do you ever wake up in the morning, walk outside, and get this incredible feeling of nostalgia? It happened to me Sunday morning. I went to let the dogs outside and feed them. I felt like the wind could sweep me off my feet. I sat there for a few minutes listening to the sounds and feeling the wind blow through my hair. It was such a beautiful morning. 
It all seemed so familiar to me... a sense of euphoria.  

The cool air reminded me of spring days at my grandparents house when I was a kid. I remember hunting Easter eggs, spinning around on the merry go round, and playing in the cellar. Something I miss dearly and wish my kids were able to experience.

The smells and sounds reminded me of being out at my dads house chasing chickens, climbing on the jungle gym, petting horses, feeding deer, and building things. I wanted to jump in the truck and drive out there so I could sit on the back porch with my step-mom and dad and soak in all the memories. 


I don't see nostalgia as "homecoming pain" but rather a wistful remembrance of my childhood. I hope over the years that Casey and I can create such imperishable memories for our children so that one day, when they are adults, they can be reminded of such happiness just by the feel of the air, a simple smell, or a distinctive sound. 

Everybody Knows How to Raise Children, Except the People Who Have Them.

This week has been more of a headache than I would like to admit. Let me start out at the top and by top I mean with the oldest kid.

I have access to all of the kids grades online and keep track of them mainly to make sure they are turning their work in. This week I pull his up and he has numerous missing assignments in 3 classes and is failing all of them. So... I get on his ass. I write down each assignment for each class and explain to him that he has to get them turned in before today, the end of the 6 weeks. I make him attend tutorials and complete the work he has in his folder at home vs allowing him to play games. Did it work? I haven't a clue yet. We will see come Monday. If it didn't... guess who won't have a laptop or Xbox in his room? Oh, and to top it all off you know what he had the nerves to say to me?? "It isn't that big a deal mom, I only need a 70 to pass." NOT the kind of thing you say to your mom. He's going to be in shock when he finds out he won't get the laptop or Xbox back unless he has above 80 in all subjects! 


Moving on to the next kid. He has struggled from the moment he started school at 4 years old. The subject he struggles the most with is math. From 2nd grade to 5th grade he has yet to pass a TAKS or Benchmark test. He has attended summer school and tutoring multiple times over the years and nothing seems to help. Before Christmas break his teachers decided it would be best to have him tested for learning disabilities. Well, the results came back two weeks ago and he tested to be above average on everything. He doesn't have a learning disability and doesn't qualify for assistance. Fine. So now we wait until March to see if he can pass the TAKS on his own. If he doesn't he can retest in May and if he fails again he can attend summer school, again. If he fails the last time he will not be promoted to middle school.... OVER MY DEAD BODY! 
See, in 2nd grade I begged and pleaded with school officials to hold him in back for another year. They told me that he was making great progress and they didn't think it was necessary. So here we are 3 years later and the talk of retaining him is coming into play. I couldn't imagine what something like that would do to him. He has been with these same kids since kindergarten and just when he's looking forward to going to middle school with all of them it's yanked away! I can't allow it to happen. Of course I'm holding out hope that he does so well on the test in March that none of this will even matter. BUT... I'm prepared to fight if it comes down to it. 


and now... the last one.
He got in trouble this week at school for putting his hands on another kids neck. Why did he do something like that? Because the kid wouldn't stop acting like a turkey! SIGH 

It Takes Courage To Grow Up and Become Who You Really Are.

I've often thought about what I will do with myself when all of the kids start school. I figure I'll end up working part-time at a daycare or some place similar so that I can be here when the kids are out of school and during the summer. I still have three years to figure it all out but with so many changes coming this year I'm starting to question what I really want to do with my life. 


Come August Chase and most of the kids I currently watch during the day will start preschool or kindergarten. I will be left with just Joelie here at home with me and maybe one or two other (part-time) toddlers. It will be the first time in 7 years that I won't have a house full of kids and I'm not sure what I want to do. I've thought about placing a new ad and seeing if I could fill the spots with a couple of full time kids but the truth is... I'm ready to move on.

I've struggled with feeling successful over the years. Sure I run my own company and it's rewarding watching kids learn and grow but there has always been something missing. There are no promotions or bonuses. There isn't anyone providing feedback on a regular basis telling me job well done and come income tax time... well... it all seems like a big joke. Plus throw in the emotional attachment to kids that leave and not being able to do things with my own kids and it's just heartbreaking. 


So... now what? It's time to start making decisions and doing something that I really want to do. I'm ready to build a career and make something of myself that I can be proud of. The question is... do I have the courage to make it happen? 

To Bitch or Not To Bitch, That is the Question.

I'm feeling a bitchy. 

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." 

No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.

You remember those online friends I mentioned before? Well, yesterday I noticed a post by one of them on Facebook that got me thinking.
She isn't afraid to speak her mind and she has the support (clique) to back her up so very few people argue with her and a lot of people agree with her. I personally think she is narrow minded and a bit selfish.


Her post was about a colleague of hers that was complaining about her husband being away for a week or so on business and how it was so hard on her to deal with everything, including the kids. The reason it wasn't/isn't okay for this colleague to vent is because she isn't a military wife. See, if you are just a wife and a mother who's husband travels frequently or infrequently you are not allowed to complain about it. Your husband isn't gone for months or years at a time. He isn't risking his life for our country. You aren't a single parent for months or years at a time. You just don't understand it. It isn't the same thing. You have no right to bitch! Or do you? 

Sure I realize there is a difference in military travel vs business travel. I do get that it normally doesn't last as long for a business man as it does for a military man. But I'm pretty sure going into the relationship/marriage that these wives knew in advance what they were getting themselves into. If they didn't know in advance I would think such a life changing decision would have been something that was discussed and decided on together, as husband and wife and most likely before children were even a factor. They knew exactly what they were getting into, and they are accustomed to that lifestyle.


I'm "just a wife" and I'm accustomed to my lifestyle too. I'm used to having my husband come home at 5pm and offer to help with our kids, or help get dinner made, or help get kids bathed and homework done. That's the life that I agreed to and accepted 8 years and 5 kids ago. Business travel wasn't ever something we had to discuss before marriage or kids, it didn't come until much later and when it did... we didn't have much of a choice if we wanted to keep our income, home, cars, and lifestyle. It was just something we had to accept and deal with. 


So, I may not have a clue what it's like to be a military wife but I'm guessing a military wife doesn't have a clue what it's like being just a wife either. 
I know, I know... their husbands are risking their lives for our country. You know what, my husband risks his life everyday for his family (which happens to mean a whole lot more to me). Every single time he gets into a car or boards a plane he is putting his life in danger. Maybe it isn't as big of a deal because he isn't wielding a gun and defending our country but to us, his wife and kids... it's a pretty big fucking deal! 
I don't know who died and made her god... but just because she is a military wife, it doesn't make her hardships more important than anyone else.

DANGER! Two Year Old Ahead...

Yesterday our baby girl turned two. I realize that she has been a toddler for a year now but there is something about second birthdays that is so hard. 

First birthdays come and go with anticipation of what is to come. Our little ones go from being eating, sleeping, crawling, non verbal babies to walking, single word talking, toy playing, tantrum throwing toddlers. Then they turn two and everything changes again but this time the changes are more substantial. They become blabbering, independent, possessive, characteristic individuals. They become their own little people. 

Maybe it's harder for me to think about because I know I will never do this again. She is our last baby. Or maybe it's harder because she's a girl. I don't know.

At least we will get a break from this emotional roller coaster for the next three years. That will give us plenty of time to prepare for the first day of elementary school!

I spent the day catering to my birthday girl. She got dressed up in her Hello Kitty birthday outfit and we went to the mall. Our first stop was the Sanrio store where we bought a "way too expensive" Hello Kitty stroller. Next up we stopped to ride a merry go round. After we got done with that it was off to Build a Bear to make a Hello Kitty! She had a blast!! and so did her big brother Sequel! He was a great help! We ended her birthday celebration with lunch and cake! The only thing that was missing today was her daddy. :( 

The Great Fish Eat The Small.

I have never been a fan of fish, or seafood. I remember eating things like shark as a kid and hating it. Heck, I have never liked fish sticks either... the smell alone sends me over the edge. Same goes for shrimp. EWW!
I didn't realize until I was an adult that other types of seafood existed and I was excited to try them despite my hatred for such an awful smelling food. 
Our first year in Austin Casey and I attended a company Christmas party where they served crab cakes. Oh my gosh!! I think it was the best thing I have ever tried, so yummy! A couple of years later we traveled to the Corpus Christi with some friends to celebrate Casey's 30th birthday. One of my good friends, Andina, insisted we have seafood while there. Of course Casey isn't a fan either so we picked a place that had traditional American food in addition to seafood. Andina ordered this platter with shrimp and crab legs. I agreed to try them both. I know that over the years our taste buds can change so I thought, why not! First... shrimp is still NASTY! Second... crab legs are the bomb! WOW! The last time I had seafood I went with my friend Naomi. I had not seen her in over 10 years and drove to Houston to spend the day with her. I talked her into going to Galveston for the day and she picked our lunch spot. I let her order since I had no idea what I was doing. This time I had lobster and again, I loved it!  


Because Casey and I aren't fans of fish our kids haven't really had the chance to try any other than fish sticks and shrimp (which only Venus likes). 
Sequel is always talking about fishing and eating what he catches so tonight I talked him into trying some fish I bought. I cooked some Tilapia and as soon as he smelled it cooking he wasn't sure about eating it. He was a good sport and tried it when I was done but ended up covering it in BBQ sauce! :) Joelie even took a bite. She chewed it for a good minute before gagging and spitting it out! Venus, Pacey, and Chase... they wouldn't even taste it. I guess the verdict is... I'm the only one in our family that will eat seafood and even then, it has to be a Crustacean (minus shrimp) AND... it has to be with a friend that I don't see very often OR at a fancy dinner party! Can I really even say I like seafood? 

Snowflakes are kisses from heaven!

I feel like a little kid! I'm waiting for the snow to come! It doesn't happen very often around here and it's hard not to get excited about it. Pacey wants to make snow angels and Chase wants to play in it. I'm sure Venus and Sequel will want to build snowmen and Joelie will surely want to eat it! I hope hope hope that we wake up to a white lawn tomorrow, even if only two inches!

Online Friends VS Offline Friends

In 2005 while pregnant with Chase I joined a social networking site called What to Expect When You're Expecting. I didn't participate much in the group that I was a part of (September 05') and eventually stopped going all together. WTE is a place for expectant parents, and parents trying to conceive to gather and share stories, information, and experiences with each other. When I got pregnant again in 2008 I updated my information to the new group, February 2009. This time I decided to jump in and participate.  I instantly felt this sense of belonging to this group. There was something about the other woman that were there going through the same up and down hormonal roller coaster that pulled me in. Over the course of our pregnancies we shared our lives with each other. We all got excited to hear the babies genders, we cheered each other on when our bodies started getting ready to labor, and we provided each other a shoulder to cry on when things were hard.
It's been 2 years and 9 months since most of us "met" online and to this day almost all of us are still friends. We keep up with one other via numerous social networking sites; Cafemom, Facebook. Some of us have met in person over the years and a lot of us keep up with one another via text and phone calls. 

When asked recently if I consider these ladies to be "real" friends, I didn't hesitate to answer YES! These girls probably know more about me than some of my offline friends and over the years they have been a real source of comfort and encouragement. Isn't that what being a friend is all about?
I do think it's best to maintain healthy balance of real life and online friends but I don't for a second believe that one is more important than the other. I think what makes a relationship a true friendship isn't where you met but what you've shared and learned along the way.  

The Only Thing Worth Stealing is a Kiss From a Sleeping Child

Bedtime is my favorite time of the night after a long day... but today wasn't long, today was perfect. I didn't spend all day cleaning or chasing after kids. I didn't spend the afternoon tired or frustrated. I spent the whole day playing and hanging out with my babies!

When it was time for bed I hung out with Joelie in her room for a little while. She wanted me to lay down with her (on her toddler bed) so I climbed up there with her and watched her as she watched Kai-Lan. I was rubbing her arm and she would look up at me with those pretty blue eyes and have the sweetest smile on her face. I stayed with her until her eyes got heavy and kissed her chubby cheek goodnight.
I tucked the boys into bed but with Casey being gone I knew that Chase would end up in my room sooner or later. He normally waits until Pacey is asleep and comes in. It wasn't too long before he was cuddled up on the chaise at the foot of our bed snoring away!
About an hour later Pacey woke up and came in here too. He didn't want to sleep alone. :) I let him climb up in bed with me. It took him a little while to stop talking and go to sleep, such a silly boy. I'm actually glad they are in here with me.. helps me from feeling so lonely. Plus all this snoring makes me feel right at home!
I love days that end with nights like this.

"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."

You remember before you had kids when you witnessed a toddler throwing a tantrum in the store, or saw a school aged kid yelling at his mom, or heard stories about teens sneaking out, how you swore up and down your kids would never EVER do anything like that?
Yep, I said the same things! "My kids will never be allowed to play with things like that". "I won't ever let my kids wear something like that". "My kids will do what I tell them to do". "My kids will eat what I tell them to eat".

Then you become a mom and slowly everything you said wouldn't happen, slaps you in the face! Everything you said your kids would do, they don't ever do without a fight, if at all! It's a life lesson. Don't ever glare at another mom for what she is or isn't doing in a situation. Sure, we all want to be the "ideal" mom, but you better believe what you think is ideal is far from realistic! 

I like to call my oldest son my Trial and Error kid. Poor thing. I've never had a kid his age before so he is paving the way for his younger siblings as well as what kind of mom I'm going to be to each one of them. It may not be fair, but it's the truth.

As he enters the teen years I think about everything I said he would NEVER do and I prepare myself to handle it when it does happen! No worries, if he doesn't do these things, there is another almost teen right behind him so all that preparation won't be wasted. 
So I'm back to square one. I've decided what my next child isn't going to do based on what my first child did and well... we all know how this is going to end...

So for the next 18 years I'm going to be the mom that searches backpacks, checks online usage, reads text messages and diaries as well as eavesdrop, won't allow her kids to go places without checking in every few minutes, refuses to let her kids ride in cars driven by teens, requires a copy of SS cards and DL's before letting her kids go on dates BUT doesn't allow her kids to go on dates alone before the age of 16 anyway, checks to make sure all homework is done, grades are passing, and missing assignments are completed on a weekly basis and won't hesitate to do drug tests. Yep... that is the plan. As time goes on... I'll be sure to let you know how it all works out!

Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind

Two more nights before Casey leaves to Zurich again. Thankfully it's only 2 weeks this time instead of a month. I love that he gets such great opportunities with Google. He has been able to go places he probably never would have gone. I think this time he may even get to go to Germany! How cool is that?!

I can't help but get a little sad when it's almost time for him to go. It isn't that I'm upset about having to take care of the kids on my own for so long. That isn't it at all. I will just miss him. So will the kids, especially Joelie. She knows when he comes home everyday and for the first week she will run to the door every time she hears it open saying Daddy Daddy! and it will break my heart. Plus... he's my release, just having him here to listen to me, to get things off my chest, for support... when he is over there the time difference makes it really hard for us to communicate. None the less we will survive. I have a really long to do list that will keep me busy and a fabulous birthday party to finish planning! 

Heck, maybe later in the year he and I will get to escape together to Australia or one of the other fabulous Google locations! :) A girl can dream!  

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one!

February marks the beginning of the first birthday season for us with one in February, the second in March, and the third in April.  The next season beings in August followed by three in September. It's a very busy time of the year for us and planning is in full effect. 

This year the first party belongs to Joelie. She is turning 2! I can't begin to tell you how excited I get planning her birthday party. It's so different than it was planning the boys, imagine that! Her theme this year is Hello Kitty. Yes, we do themes! :) Cake is ordered, presents are hiding, and decorations are ready to go! I can't wait for it! She is going to love all the Hello Kitty stuff! Oh, did I mention her birthday outfit is the most adorable thing EVER?!? I bought her a dress, necklace, and earrings PLUS I made her a tutu and ordered a birthday shirt with matching bloomers for her! I can't wait to share her birthday pictures! 


The next shindig belongs to Pacey. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around him being a year older already. It has happened so fast. I always think that I can't wait until he is out of this whiny stage, but the truth is... I really can.
He hasn't decided where he wants to have his party or what "theme" he wants to go with. I'm sure we will end up having the party away from home, which is fine with me, less for me to have to clean up!

Venus gets the final birthday this go round. He won't want a party but money instead, which he will no doubt spend on computer and/or video games. Did I mention he is going to be a teenager? 


Every year it comes as a shock to me that it's time to celebrate birthdays. I wish I could just hold my breath and make time stand still even if just for a minute longer. It's an amazing ride watching our kids grow up and playing such a big roll in who they are, I just wish it didn't happen in a flash. 

"A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit."

My first blog entry! Whew hew!
I'm on a diet. Who isn't these days? And well, I hate it. I like food. I want to eat. I don't want the good for you Atkins, South Beach, Fad Diet foods, I want the bad for you sweets and salty snack foods. YUM! 


I started my diet on Wednesday of this week. I think I'm on the Atkins diet. Heck, I could have just made up the diet on my own! In addition to eating right I'm also working out. I think? Can you call it working out if you don't use weights, or leave your house? I'm using The Biggest Loser and Dance Central on the Xbox Kinect. I love it!

I don't watch The Biggest Loser show but I get the gist of it. When we bought the game I wasn't sure what to expect but it had great reviews so I thought why not! I actually really like it. The workouts are intense and fun and I like the way they mix it up. there are a few things they could improve on but overall it's a great game!
Dance Central is a blast! I love dancing. I always have. I feel a little funny enjoying it so much being that I'm OLD but then again, so are some of the songs!  The funny thing is... I've had dance offs with Venus and Sequel and beat them both! Oh yeah, this momma has rhythm! 


I'm weighing in every Wednesday with one of my mommy groups (I'll save that for another blog entry) so I'll make sure I mention how I'm doing when I post here too!

Next topic... Birthdays :)